Category Archives: Living with dying

Rollercoaster

I used rollercoaster as a title, and then I thought “Strange kind of rollercoaster – it only seems to be going down”. It’s been a tough few months. I started capecitapine in March, and then had a massive, overwhelming life-threatening … Continue reading

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Too many losses

As well as blogging here, I write poems at fmmewritespoems.wordpress.com. I also host poetry prompts at dVerse. This is the first prompt I ever wrote: https://wordpress.com/post/dversepoets.com/17153. I asked people to write poetry inspired by the art of Fay Collins. I’m … Continue reading

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Missing out.

I’m supposed to be in Ireland. Specifically, I’m supposed to be in County Clare in a big house by the sea with my husband and my kids and a great rolling crowd of eating, drinking, laughing, chatting, arguing, joking in-laws. … Continue reading

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Docetaxel

So, here we are at the start of Week 3 of my 3 week cycle. Side effects? Yes: Look at the picture. Can you see when the fatigue started to lift? Oh, the fatigue. Leg pain. Like my bones were … Continue reading

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Palliative chemotherapy. Ugh.

Yes. Next week. Meeting on Friday. Had my bloods done on Tuesday, ECG just before I pick up my first course of capecitabine. I got my information leaflets through yesterday. I’m not wildly enthusiastic about this turn of events. We … Continue reading

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Being Mortal – Atul Gawande

I got this book through the Mystery Book Club.¬† The Mystery Book Club sends out a mystery book every month. It says it comes beautifully packaged – and it does. It was such a treat to receive. This is a … Continue reading

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Staring at the sun – Irvin D Yalom: books that have helped 1

I read this about 3 years ago, so the details are hazy, but the things I took from it are: Death is scary. We die alone. Live your life better in the knowledge that you will die. Connections bring comfort. … Continue reading

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Looking for the self help book

The other day my breast cancer buddy said to me “It’s really shit having cancer”. It is really shit having cancer. It is really shit being told you ¬†have cancer. It is even more shit having to tell people you … Continue reading

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Keeping it open

For me, the worst thing about this whole cancer secondaries has been the feeling that doors are closing for me; the feeling that life is shutting down. I have always loved new beginnings, new adventures. I’ve always loved having a … Continue reading

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Gratitude

It is easy to forget to be grateful. I’m not even sure what we are grateful to – not to a God, because we are secular humanists, aren’t we? Maybe to other people. Maybe to the world. Maybe to blind … Continue reading

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