Week 5. The nevers.

I have a bad attack of the nevers at the moment. I saw a little trailer for a Black Bough book – Wonderful Things. I have a poem in there. It’s a collection inspired by Tutankhamen, and the trailer has shots of Egypt – and I’ll probably never go to Egypt now. I’ll never go to New York. I saw an Instagram reel about the Fitzrovia Chapel, and found myself thinking “I may never go to London again”. Some of this is realistic. Even if I get well enough to travel, it’s going to be a while before I’m insurable. When I say a while, I mean a long time. I don’t want to be a “never” person, though. I want to think about possibilities.

So, good things.

The kids are great. They are cooking regularly, shopping, being helpful, saving funny videos for me.

I have friends who check in regularly.

My tastebuds have been minimally affected (so far!) – so I can drink tea and enjoy my food.

I really bounced back in my week off. I felt pretty normal – I was pleasantly surprised.

I have knitted two small frogs. Small projects are working well for me.

I don’t have the energy or clear-headedness for creative writing but I managed this post!

I’m radically resting. I’m forgiving myself for being exhausted. I’m embracing the horizontal.