Emoji land

I used a winky face.

My son’s sports coach put up a notice about an event. It will last from “9.30am through to 4am”, he said.

“That’s a long day” I posted back. Winky face.

My daughter folded up with laughter. A winky face is flirty, apparently. I should have used a “crying with laughter” face.

Who makes up these rules? Where do you find them? Have I just flirted inappropriately with my son’s coach? Or is that just a teenage construction, from a world where everything is flirting or rejection, where every text is analysed, where every sending is scrutinised? She tells me it matters (a lot!) if you put “okay” – that’s good, he really cares – or “OK” – that’s friend-zoning – or “k” – that’s a deadly insult and a snub. There’s more etiquette to this online world than there was in Victorian times, or medieval Japan, or the court of Louis XIV. It’s a minefield out there, and you are crossing it in clown shoes.

Stick with smileys. Or words. Words are good.